10/30/04-At least there is really good bread...

We’ve definitely settled into a routine around here, which makes things a little easier. It is amazing how much easier when you get to know what they want. It isn’t that I can read their cry or anything. It is just that when they get fussy at certain times of the day, you know they are ready for the next biological activity – eating, sleeping, changing, etc. (Actually, the changing is more driven by the particular aroma, but you get the drift.)

Today, our big event was taking a walk to the baby store to get some wipes and baby food. It was a little colder than we’d like but the air was good for the kids. I was pointing out another phenomenon here to Gma. I’ve mentioned the numerous Malls they have. It seems like every building has shops inside it. The exterior does not have any significant signage, but you walk through an often unwelcoming door and inside you will find 7-10 stands, counters or stores usually a specific type of product – soaps, socks, towels & bedding, baked goods, candy, alcohol, newspapers, meats, etc. (And, yes, at times, in that order.) As far as I can tell, that is what a lot of the people here do for a living. I guess they make enough to buy from each other.

Gma has also been amazed by the bread. There is a large variety which are all good and incredibly cheap. There are these little bakery stands that you can go to, get all kinds of rolls and cookies and pay 100 Tenge. (That is 70 cents to you Americans.) I went to one and then on the way back walked into a little market (which again had 8 stands in it) and bought a small loaf of brown bread for 18 tenge. (Basically 14 cents.) It was delicious. You have to buy it this way because they do not use preservatives. So you buy small loaves that you eat with a couple meals. The nice thing of this market I just found is that it is next door, so I can get basics – milk, juice, bread, butter, etc. each day and then only have one bigger trip a week.

Well, that is all for today. There are a few pictures to check out today. Check them out.

10/29/04-Improvised Equipment...

When Gma was in nurses training, she had to take a class in improvised equipment. It was a class on things you can use when you don’t have actual medical equipment handy. Kazakhstan adoption is a class in forced improvised equipment. For instance, if you use a dirty bib as your washcloth when you do the dishes, you don’t have to wash them. No high chair – no problem. A slotted back chair and Dad’s belt can work just fine. Don’t have a toaster? Stick a piece of bread on a fork and cook it over the gas stove flame. The fancy new toys you bought don’t work then just pin a clothes pin to his or her shirt and they will be occupied for some time. An empty paper towel tube can do the same. We had even prepared a little improvised equipment for our trip home when we brought a roll-up doggie bed so we could lay the kids on the floor of the plane. Well, it is a great changing pad and protective barrier for Gracie when Jack is in the walker. So, when you find yourself in a former Soviet republic with two 10-month olds, keep your wits around you and an inventory of everything you have, because in a pinch, it may become useful.

The days are getting easier. Though we don’t have a schedule yet, we are getting direction from the kids. Gracie is completely over all her physical ailments – eating and pooping with quite regularity. I’m finding that the Gracie clinginess is a sign for things – hunger, thirst, sleep, changing. It happens sooner than expected, but we are starting to figure out what to do. She sleeps a lot, but she is getting plenty of food and formula. Jack still has his teeth coming in, which seems to hit around 3:00 pm. He is definitely getting attached to Gma. We finally had a moment where Grace actually was going over to Gma and GI Jack bolted, knocked her out of the way and got there first. Gma had to pick up both of them, which Grace wanted nothing to do with, so she cried for Dad. But at least she is trusting Gma. She actually spent an hour with Gma in the morning while Dad went for one of his daily walks.

We’ve spoken to Mary Jo. She got home just fine. (Thanks gpa.) Yes, the first thing she did – take a shower. Then she called her dearest love. Ah, we see the priorities. (This writer does not blame her. He would have done the same thing. Actually, he would have probably eaten first, but same difference.)

Right now, I’m sitting in the dark as the power suddenly went out. There is still a little light outside, but we will be fine. We both have little flashlights and Gma can use my book light and I’ll use the computer light. Talk about your improvised equipment.


We have a few cute pictures today. Both kids were in their bib overalls. Check them out.

10/28/04-An ugly American rant -- a proper cup of water...

A quick ugly American rant – The people of Kazakhstan has yet to learn one great American truth – Size matters. Everything here just seems to be smaller. One of my biggest frustrations is that all the glasses are small. In the hotel, our drinking glasses were barely larger than a shot glass. Whenever I was thirsty, I felt like I was playing a drinking game. In the apartment, the same is true. I have gone to every market and Mall in this area, and I have previously pointed out that there are a lot of them, just to buy a big plastic or glass cup and there are none to be found. On one of my first days in the hotel, I went to the café for a cup of coffee and I got a very nice cup of coffee in a small tea cup. And they charged me for a second cup. (They charge you for everything here – even butter on your bread.)

Whenever we would go out to dinner, the portions were always small – very small by the standards of this large American male. I know this has gotten bad press in the U.S., but I want to stand up and scream “Super Size Me!”

So, to the President of Kazakhstan, I call out to you. If you want to raise this country to the next level in the economic food chain and rise to the level of the old U.S. of A., I tell you to remember that “Size Matters” – big cars, big houses, big meals and, most importantly, big cups. (A special thanks goes out to Gma Jan. Of all the many wonderful things she brought with her, my favorite has been the Rubbermaid sports bottle she brought me. Now, I can have a proper drink of water.

Now that I am done with my diatribe, a quick note on the kiddos. The big news today is that Jack got another tooth in today and it looks like he has two more coming in. This afternoon, he suddenly became very anti-Jack, moaning and crying. He felt like he had a fever and was rubbing his head. Gma checked and found the teeth. We gave him some Tylanol and put him down for a late afternoon nap. This pushed back his bed-time, but he was his old chipper self in the evening.

On the Gracie front, she was still Miss Clingy, at time demanding that I carry her around, though I held firm. But, on the good note, she has been eating her meals and drinking her bottles. We are so concerned with her size that we are always focusing on her eating. Gma tells us not too worry so much, but we do want her to grow. Sometimes, I want to do this journal like Bridget Jones’ Diary – Thursday, October 28, 2004 – 17 units of formula, 3 meals, 2 Naps and 1 BM. I try not to worry, but I get so excited when she eats. Well, I am happy to say that the above stats reflect her day today. It was the best day from a caloric intake since we got her. Her mom will be much happier.

Well, no pictures today. Gma is great, though very tired. She is still trying to adjust to sleeping here and we have to make sure she also gets her naps.

10/27/04-Mary Jo heads home...

Our morning had a sad note as Mary Jo started her long journey home. She will be missed very much by all of us. I know she will miss us, but she definitely needed to get out of Kazakhstan. Plans for the family vacation in Karaganda in 5 years have definitely been vetoed. She will be doing a reverse of her trip here, first stopping in Almaty then catching a flight (at 4 AM) to Frankfurt. From Frankfurt she is off to Chicago and then to Pittsburgh. I am sure her first stop when she gets home will be to her precious shower where she will take her first shower in almost a month that does not have a brown tint.

The remainder of the day was just Dad, Gma and the kids. Dad took a quick trip to the store for some water, which allowed Gma to continue her bonding. Apparently, Gma has a new boyfriend, whose name is Jack McGrath. Jack was in an incredible mood all day. He has learned two things in the last couple days – how to give himself his bottle and how to wave – often at the same time. The only mistake we made today was that we were having so much fun with him that we forgot to give him his afternoon nap. We tried to give him a nap in the morning, but he just refused to go to sleep. We think he will be a one nap child and it will be in the early afternoon. Without his nap, he started to breakdown around 4 PM. He held out until 5:30 when he fell asleep on the mat drinking his bottle.

Gracie is definitely getting better. She took a two full bottles of formula and a bottle of grape juice, plus she at food twice today which is a lot more than she has eaten in the past week. Her mom will be very happy. We even have a video of Gma feeding her to prove it. She was also more chipper today and, at times, played on her own. She still is very attached to me and wants to be held all the time. Actually, not just held, but held and walked around. There is something about movement that makes her happy. We want to break her of this (because her dad is getting old and will not be able hold her all day), but we are working in this gradually. Gma thinks it is a security thing as she is trying to adjust to life out of the orphanage and I am her main connection to that. Our main concern right now is getting her well and eating, so I will carry her, but we will work to get her to sit on her own more. Grace is definitely a two nap child and still went to sleep at 5:30 with Jack. This kid does sleep a lot. Gma said a doctor once told her that is when kids are growing. We can only hope this is true.

The only other news from today is that we think Gracie has her father’s love of musicals. Gma had the idea that it would be good to have some music in the room so we put in the Sound of Music DVD in the computer. At times, Gracie sat there and was fascinated by the movie and seemed to like the music. She definitely like when her dad danced to the music with her.

We have a lot of pictures today since we’ve been lax recently. We also have some videos for you. Hopefully you will enjoy them. Gma is doing well, though she is very tired. She is still trying to adjust to sleeping here. This being a good day, I am finding that the good days are just as tiring as the bad days, but they are not as emotionally exhausting.


Today’s Pictures
Video 1 – A short video showing Jack taking a bottle all by himself.
Video 2 – Proof for Gracie’s Mom that she is eating well. Sorry for the loud music in the background. I didn’t realize it would be so loud. It is our favorite song though.

10/26/04-Our day in court...

Dear Readers,
Today was a big day on two fronts, so make sure you read both entries. Today we saw the arrival of Gma and her first day with her newest grandkids and we went to court to make this whole thing official.
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Our day in Court
Today marked the most significant day of our adventure – our day in court. After getting the kids up and acclimated with their new grandmother, we were picked up by Lena and left the children in the expert hands of Gma Jan. (Gracie is still fussy and we found that she had a fever. We later arranged to have her pediatrician make a visit, but that is later in our story.)

We were transported to the court by our usual driver Anatoly. At the court we waited outside the judge’s courtroom as another parent was adopting from the same orphanage, but through a different agency. After they were done with her, we were the first couple into the room. We had been prepped by Lena on what questions we would be asked and given a pre-written crib sheet for the final question. (During our preparation with Lena, Mary Jo told me that I would do the speaking – or so she thought.) In the courtroom, as in the Kazakhstan streets, no one smiled. The judge called court to order and asked us if we respect the court. Holding back a temptation to say I could never respect a judge in a maroon graduation gown and sunglasses, we accented to our respect of the court. At that point, Tamara our facilitator presented our application to the judge while Lena translated for us. The most striking part of the application was that Tamara made the exact statement that had been written in the aforementioned pre-written crib sheet. Damn, she stole my line. After that, Rosa, the director of the orphanage (and Bolat’s mother) gave the background on the children, the summary of which said they were eligible for adoption. Then their pediatricians gave their medical background. Then it was our turn. The judges asked the standard questions – What do you do for a living? How much to you make? Do you own your home? How will you take care of child care? Then the big question – Why are you here in court today? This is where I was ready to give my prearranged speech. “We are here to adopt Daniel and Tania. We have no biological children. We are both from large families and would like to adopt both children and raise them as siblings. We have worked with Children at Heart adoption agency and came to Karaganda and chose these children…” I was about to proceed onto the big finish about wanting to change their names to Jackson William and Elizabeth Grace and would like their birth certificates changed to have our names listed as parents when I was interrupted by the judge, who muttered something in Russian. Lena informed us that the judge wanted to hear from Mary Jo, who, as previously mentioned, had not planned to speak. A brief look of panic appeared on her face as she fought the urge to scream, “I just want to go home and see my mommy.” She recovered and mumbled “I agree with what he said.” After this, the social worker spoke and confirmed that there was no one else looking to claim the children. After this, we were all asked to leave the room.

After the other two couples went in for the same interrogation, we were all brought back into court where we told that the judge had no objections to the adoptions and congratulations on our new children. A feeling of relief came over all of us as we left the court. We all proceeded back to the orphanage for a party with the doctors. In a moment of traditionalism, all the women went with Lena to the market to buy supplies for the parties. The men went in another vehicle to the orphanage. When everyone arrived, we delivered all the goodies to the appropriate rooms for the parties that were happening. We all went to the doctors’ office to have a party with them. They proceeded to serve us all the food that we bought. I don’t know if I saw them eat much. But we sat with Rosa, Tamara, Lena and one of the doctors and exchanged numerous toasts of congratulations and thanks and talked about the process. It was a nice little party. In the afternoon, there were parties scheduled in the kids’ rooms with all their caregivers, but Mary Jo and I would not go back for the parties since we had kids back at the apartment to care for. We stopped by the rooms, brought some gifts for them and gave our thanks for taking care of our children.

After the party, we went back to the apartment with Lena and Grace’s pediatrician. She examined Grace and said it was not congestion she had, but she did have a severely red throat. She “prescribed” some medication, which we think is for her diarrhea, and said to make sure we try to feed her small amounts of food and a lot of fluids. We are not sure if she looked at all possibilities, but we were reasonably satisfied with her diagnosis and can’t complain about a doctor who makes house calls and charged $7.

After this, we settled into the afternoon. Gma, Jack and I took a walk to the local “Mall” to get some supplies we needed. Gma had her first trip to a Kazakhstan supermarket and we began to strategize on things we can eat during the coming weeks. We returned, sat with the kiddos, gave them their baths and put them to bed. We ended the day with some pasta and cheap Moldovian wine.

Here are couple pictures from the day:

All of us coming out of the courthouse


Lena, our doctors and Rosa at the party

10/26/04-The Saga of Gma Jan...

Last night at 9:15 pm, Gma Jan walked through the doors in our little apartment. She was exhausted, but looked more refreshed than expected. She proceeded to tell us the saga of her journey.

Gma’s journey started with a United flight from Pittsburgh to Chicago. Before leaving Pittsburgh, the pilot mentioned they had a little wind in Chicago. Things went smoothly until they began to land. About 300 feet above the ground, the plane began to sway significantly and the suddenly accelerate and take off into the sky. After a long silence, commonly know as a pregnant pause, less commonly know as a “what the $%&# was that!?!?” pause, the pilot came on to say they had all just experienced a wind sheer. The pilot informed them he had to make a split decision and in this case he found it more prudent to try it over. After a few minutes, they attempted a second landing and all went well.

Gma sat in O’Hare airport for the requisite time until she boarded her United/Lufthansa flight to Frankfurt. Taxiing out to the runway all seemed to be going smoothed until the flight attendant came on the horn to inform all passengers that they needed to return to the terminal. Either there was a display light that went off or the pilot left his wallet behind. In either case, they returned to the terminal, thus delaying their flight for 2 ½ hours. On this flight, Gma sat in the middle section of a 707 next to a very nice American gentleman who Gma estimated weight over 400 lbs. She said he was very friendly and really tried to sit in a manner as not to intrude too much into her personal space – until he fell asleep. At that point, he kind of oozed into her seat, thus making it an uncomfortable situation for our heroine. Luckily, she had no one sitting in the seat next her so she could lean a little away from her new friend, but it made sleeping an impossible activity. She continued in this manner for the remainder of her trip.

After landing in Frankfurt, our fearless traveler learned that she had missed her connection on the relatively new Lufthansa 707. The friendly people in Frankfurt helped Gma get a new flight. She now found herself on Air Astana, Kazakhstan’s largest airline. So now, instead of being on a brand spanking new Lufthansa jet with a multi-lingual crew, Gma found herself on an older plane with a crew with one English speaker. Rumors that the plane transported Soviet troops during World War II have not been confirmed, but according to Gma, it was held together by duct tape and baling wire. On this flight, Gma shared her section with a lady who spoke only Russian and brought on a bag that would not qualify as carry-on on Air Force One. The flight attendant ultimately told the woman to sit it on the floor between her and Gma. Apparently, airline regulations are just guidelines in Kazakhstan. So again, Gma had something flowing into her space. The “non-stop” flight included a stop in Astana, the capital of Kazakhstan, which is an hour’s drive from Karaganda. Unfortunately, Gma had to continue on to Almaty, some 400 miles away. During the stop, Gma attempted to use the facilities, but her neighbor refused to move, repeating “Nyet, nyet” on each request to move. Gma, in a move to further U.S./Kazakhstani relations, proceeded to climb over the woman’s bag and was about to climb over the woman, when she succumbed to our heroine’s request and got up. The flight continued to Almaty with little events to note. Gma pointed out that they did feed her – three times – which kept her content.

In Almaty, she was met by Almaz, the cousin of Bolat, who picked up Mary Jo and I. Gma said Almaz was a joy. He took her to an apartment – the same one Mary Jo and I stayed – since the hotel was full, so she could rest. Then he picked her up at 4:00 pm, helped her to exchange some of her money into Kazakhstan Tenges and took her to lunch. From Gma’s description, they ate at the same pizza place we ate at. Gma had a very nice time with Almaz as he explained some the changes that have been occurring in Kazakhstan and she explained was “raining cats and dogs” and “keeping up with the Joneses” meant.

Later that evening, Gma was taken to the airport to get on her SCAT airlines flight to Karaganda. I will not make any attempts to describe her experience as this writer has described them in a previous entry. Gma made two comments about the trip on Kazakhstan’s two airlines – “they looked like they were held together with duct tape and baling wire” and “they were the smoothest flights I had.” She also states that in Kazakhstan, “chivalry is dead.” Apparently, she had the same “every man (and woman) for themselves” experience we had. With all this, our relentless traveler landed in Karaganda at 8:30 pm where she was met by Lena our translator, who transported her to our humble abode – much to our relief and the eventual relief of all her family.

With all the events of the day, we did not get a picture of Gma with the kids, but let me include this picture to prove to everyone that Gma arrived and is, in fact, in Kazakhstan as we speak.

10/25/04-The return of G.I. Jack...

GI Jack is back. From the start of the day, when we discovered clear evidence that the big “D” that had plagued Jack these past few days was gone, Jack was back to his old self. He occupied himself and motored around the room. His bright smile was also back. It was good to have him back. Gracie is still plagued by the same ailment, but she was also in a better mood. We focused on making sure she was hydrated and she ate two meals. She became very fussy at the end of the day and wouldn’t eat or take her bottle. It was a little of a downer to end the day, but on the whole we had a good day.

One of the nice things about the day was that we had visitors. Mary Jo hadn’t realized how much she missed other adult company after being cooped up in this apartment the past 5 days with just her three children. Jerry, Jane, Steve and Lisa, fellow adoptive families through Children At Heart came over for a visit. They spent most of the afternoon with us and it was very refreshing. I think the kids also liked to see some new faces. They were on their best behavior the whole time. If any of you read this, thank you Jerry, Jane, Steve and Lisa. It made our day.

Of course, we are sitting in excited anticipation for the arrival of Gma Jan. She is scheduled to land at 8:30 tonight, so we expect her some time after 9. Gma has had a very trying experience. A delay in her first flight to Chicago caused her to miss her flight to Frankfurt. This put her behind and she has spent even more time traveling than planned. She ended up arriving in Almaty at 8:30 this morning instead of the previous night as was expected. Our contacts were there to pick her up and got fed and checked her into a hotel for the day. She was still able to make the flight tonight. We have not spoken to her yet, but have talked to our connections here and they have assured us she is being well taken care of. We will let everyone know when she arrives.

Tomorrow is the day. Mary Jo and I are off to court to make this official. We are scheduled for court at 9:30 am and should be done by 10:00. Then we are off to the orphanage to hit some parties with the kids caregivers and doctors. Gma gets thrust into the fire as she will be baby-sitting during that time. Hopefully they will stick to the schedule of the past few days and be napping at that time.

I was able to get a new card reader so I am back in business on the picture front. Of course, once I was able to get them off the camera, I found that most of them we junk, but I was able to save a few for publishing. I’m just happy that I will be able to post pictures while Gma is here and so the kids Mommy can see them back home.

Check out the pictures.

10/24/04-Real life business experience...

Though I do not have an MBA, let me share some life lesson around Kazakhstan marketing. Not being able to read the labels, presentation has been a major influence on my purchasing. For example, the milk with the picture of the elderly woman on it must be better than the milk with the dancing dairy farmer, right? I mean, she looks like she would sell me better milk. And that cute smiling baby on the baby food job looks like he really loves that food, so it has to be good. Of course, if the label doesn’t work, then fall back on the time honor decision technique – choose the more expensive, because it must be better. It has usually worked for me in the past.

Our day today went as others have. We’re still trying to figure out their sleeping schedules. Basically, if they acted sleepy, we put them down. The end result was that each had times when they were the only one up. This gave us some relief from the other little visitor we’ve received. The ugly green monster of jealousy is upon us. The kids are definitely competing for attention. Jack has become a bit of a whiner the last few days. Whatever one starts doing or gets, the other does or wants. I think I’m getting a view of what Josie Post must have been going through. (And the foundation of that joyous Post teasing that is a constant activity at all family functions.)

The only other news is that Gracie has now been visited by the diarrhea bug. It looks like she is also reacting to the formula, only a little later than Jack. She has been refusing to eat foods. Our local pediatric resource (thanks Lisa), says not to worry, but make sure she stays hydrated. We have some Pedialyte and are going to the store for some other drink options. Hopefully she will work through it. This kid does not need to miss a meal.

We are in anxious anticipation for the arrival of GMA Jan. Unfortunately, we received news that her flight was delayed and she missed her connection to Frankfurt. She has been redirected and is on the way, but she will not get into Almaty until tomorrow morning. She will still make her flight to here. We’ve been in touch with all the people here so they will make sure she is taken care of when she gets to Almaty.

The only other bad news is that something is wrong with my card reader, so I have not been able to get any pictures off the camera. I’m going to go out tomorrow and see if I can find a replacement. (I’ll take all the equipment and just point at everything. Hopefully someone can help me.)