10/26/04-The Saga of Gma Jan...

Last night at 9:15 pm, Gma Jan walked through the doors in our little apartment. She was exhausted, but looked more refreshed than expected. She proceeded to tell us the saga of her journey.

Gma’s journey started with a United flight from Pittsburgh to Chicago. Before leaving Pittsburgh, the pilot mentioned they had a little wind in Chicago. Things went smoothly until they began to land. About 300 feet above the ground, the plane began to sway significantly and the suddenly accelerate and take off into the sky. After a long silence, commonly know as a pregnant pause, less commonly know as a “what the $%&# was that!?!?” pause, the pilot came on to say they had all just experienced a wind sheer. The pilot informed them he had to make a split decision and in this case he found it more prudent to try it over. After a few minutes, they attempted a second landing and all went well.

Gma sat in O’Hare airport for the requisite time until she boarded her United/Lufthansa flight to Frankfurt. Taxiing out to the runway all seemed to be going smoothed until the flight attendant came on the horn to inform all passengers that they needed to return to the terminal. Either there was a display light that went off or the pilot left his wallet behind. In either case, they returned to the terminal, thus delaying their flight for 2 ½ hours. On this flight, Gma sat in the middle section of a 707 next to a very nice American gentleman who Gma estimated weight over 400 lbs. She said he was very friendly and really tried to sit in a manner as not to intrude too much into her personal space – until he fell asleep. At that point, he kind of oozed into her seat, thus making it an uncomfortable situation for our heroine. Luckily, she had no one sitting in the seat next her so she could lean a little away from her new friend, but it made sleeping an impossible activity. She continued in this manner for the remainder of her trip.

After landing in Frankfurt, our fearless traveler learned that she had missed her connection on the relatively new Lufthansa 707. The friendly people in Frankfurt helped Gma get a new flight. She now found herself on Air Astana, Kazakhstan’s largest airline. So now, instead of being on a brand spanking new Lufthansa jet with a multi-lingual crew, Gma found herself on an older plane with a crew with one English speaker. Rumors that the plane transported Soviet troops during World War II have not been confirmed, but according to Gma, it was held together by duct tape and baling wire. On this flight, Gma shared her section with a lady who spoke only Russian and brought on a bag that would not qualify as carry-on on Air Force One. The flight attendant ultimately told the woman to sit it on the floor between her and Gma. Apparently, airline regulations are just guidelines in Kazakhstan. So again, Gma had something flowing into her space. The “non-stop” flight included a stop in Astana, the capital of Kazakhstan, which is an hour’s drive from Karaganda. Unfortunately, Gma had to continue on to Almaty, some 400 miles away. During the stop, Gma attempted to use the facilities, but her neighbor refused to move, repeating “Nyet, nyet” on each request to move. Gma, in a move to further U.S./Kazakhstani relations, proceeded to climb over the woman’s bag and was about to climb over the woman, when she succumbed to our heroine’s request and got up. The flight continued to Almaty with little events to note. Gma pointed out that they did feed her – three times – which kept her content.

In Almaty, she was met by Almaz, the cousin of Bolat, who picked up Mary Jo and I. Gma said Almaz was a joy. He took her to an apartment – the same one Mary Jo and I stayed – since the hotel was full, so she could rest. Then he picked her up at 4:00 pm, helped her to exchange some of her money into Kazakhstan Tenges and took her to lunch. From Gma’s description, they ate at the same pizza place we ate at. Gma had a very nice time with Almaz as he explained some the changes that have been occurring in Kazakhstan and she explained was “raining cats and dogs” and “keeping up with the Joneses” meant.

Later that evening, Gma was taken to the airport to get on her SCAT airlines flight to Karaganda. I will not make any attempts to describe her experience as this writer has described them in a previous entry. Gma made two comments about the trip on Kazakhstan’s two airlines – “they looked like they were held together with duct tape and baling wire” and “they were the smoothest flights I had.” She also states that in Kazakhstan, “chivalry is dead.” Apparently, she had the same “every man (and woman) for themselves” experience we had. With all this, our relentless traveler landed in Karaganda at 8:30 pm where she was met by Lena our translator, who transported her to our humble abode – much to our relief and the eventual relief of all her family.

With all the events of the day, we did not get a picture of Gma with the kids, but let me include this picture to prove to everyone that Gma arrived and is, in fact, in Kazakhstan as we speak.