10/9/04-Pictures, Videos and the Days Events…

I know many of you wanted your Jack and Grace fixes. There are many more pictures and videos at the bottom of this entry for you to check out.

In the morning, Grace was out of it again. She was just fussy. All she wanted was to be held. We’re not sure what was happening. It may still be her teeth bothering her or she just may have been cranky. Dad started the day feeding her. We haven’t discussed the feeding process yet, but it is quite an experience. Because of the sheer numbers of kids in each room and the limited number of caregivers, all the kids are feed in rapid fire manner. They hold the kids in their laps and literally shovel the food in their mouths with a large spoon. The first couple times I tried feeding Grace, they took her away from me because I was taking too much time. This morning I was left alone, but she is hard to feed. She likes to look around rather than eat. It is tough because this kid does not need to miss any meals.

After breakfast, Grace hung with Mom, while Jack took off around the room. He just wanted to explore anything. After a quick chase of an empty bottle, he settled by a bookcase full of toys and went through everything. He was eventually joined by Travis, who is being adopted by Candy through another agency. They just hung out exchanging toys. At the end of the morning, we took them back to their rooms.

Check out the morning pictures – Jack on the move, Grace being fussy.
Video 1- Jack on the Move
Video 2- Cranky Grace doing a little crawl

In the afternoon, things were more lively. We noticed the other day that Grace really like a rattle one of the kids had. So we went out in the afternoon and bought her one. She really took to it. Of course, Jack really like it too. (We will get him one, but he usually will play with anything.) The rattle seems to make her more verbal. She was chatting away all afternoon, which joy to our ears because all of these kids are so silent. I think they learn early that screaming gets them nothing. Only the schedule gets them what they need. For a moment, Grace looked like she was going to be fussy again, so she and Dad took a walk around the room. After hanging out at the mirror for a while, we ended up at the swing again. This brightened her up. She began to babble more and more. After the swing, we went and hung out in the pit of balls. She really liked it and was blabbering more and more. You can check out the videos.

I like call Grace the little bird because her head is always jerking back and forth looking at everything. I find myself humming the Chava song from Fiddler on the Roof when I’m holding her. (Little Bird, Little Chavala…)

The other big event was that they got their passport photos taken. They were able to get Grace’s picture on the first shot, but Jack took multiple tries. He just does not want to cooperate for photos. (One of the pains of a digital camera is that it takes a second or two for the picture to go off. We have many pictures of the back of Jack’s head.) After the individual shots, they took a family picture. We’re not sure what that one was fore, but it will probably be used later. We need to have a picture of them with Mary Jo for when Mom and I bring them home. That may be for that.

At the end of the afternoon, we took them back to their rooms. All in all, it was another good day.

Check out the afternoon pictures – Grace coming out of her shell, Jack hanging out.
Video 3– Grace back on her swing
Video 4- Grace in the Pit of Balls
(Note: I have more to post. Look later tonight or tomorrow morning.)

10/8/04-We had a good day…

From Bill:

Today was a good day. First, for everyone who has been concerned, Grace (or Gracie as some, including her father are calling her) is doing much better. She seems to be over whatever it was she had, though I think she is still teething. She just seemed to be more active today. She was crawling around, exploring the room, reacting to MJ & I, laughing, whining, etc. I won’t say she was more of herself because we are still learning what “herself” is, but we were happy with how she acted.

She apparently agrees with everyone’s assessment that she is adorable because she loves looking at herself in the mirror. MJ and she sat in front of the mirror for about a ½ hour just staring and touching herself in the mirror. We also worked on getting her to sit-up more. We’re seeing that she can sit-up, but she is a little lazy and would rather lounge back in your lap. We pushing her to stay seated. We also found today that, with all the fancy electronic noise toys we brought, she really just wants an old fashioned rattle. One of the other kids had one and she really brightened up to it. We’re going to go out and get her one tomorrow.

Jack is good old Jack. He is just a sweet quiet little kid. He is perfectly content on playing by himself. He reminds me a little of myself when I was a kid. He does have a great interest in tissues. All the kids have runny noses and tissues are lying all over the place. Jack will spy one and immediately GI Jack takes off. He is amazingly quick. (He and Bill the Dog will probably be fighting over used tissues in the trash can.) He does have a bit of an “everything is mine” mentality. If he sees something another child has, he will just reach out and grab it. When we had him together with Grace, she would pick up a toy and he would snatch it right out of her hands. His hands are far more developed and so he can just rip it out of her hands. She didn’t really like that and we try to correct him. He just stares at us and grabs another toy.

We don’t have a sense yet of how they will get along. These kids don’t seem to have a real grasp of the other kids. When we have them together, they don’t really interact, which is probably not odd for kids this age. I can’t tell who will be the dominant one yet. He is definitely stronger, but there is something in Grace’s personality that tells me she will overcome that and take control. (For those in the McGrath family, it reminds me of the Sophia and Thomas relationship.) Ultimately, they will probably be just like brother and sister. (Hopefully, it will not reach the level of Kevin and Mary Jo.)

Sorry, there are no pictures of the kids today. We just spent the day playing with them. I promise to have some tomorrow.

After the day, we went with two other couples to a nice restaurant. It was quite a fancy place, in spite of our attire, at a very reasonable price. (18 dollars, tip included, for two people with four beers at 4 star restaurant.) It was advertised to us as a Chinese/Japanese restaurant, but they offered other dishes as well. MJ had ravioli, which was very good, and I had Sweet and Sour Beef, which the waitress made sure I was ordering by putting her two fingers next to her head like bull horns. They did have an English menu, a rarity as many of the restaurants. Unfortunately, they only had one English menu, so I had to read it to everyone and they shouted out what they liked. Everyone was very happy with their meals. I am sure we will be going back to it. It also had quite the entertainment package – a guy belting out American tunes on a saxophone. I did get some pictures from dinner. (Also, a lovely one of our “laundry room” in the hotel – our bathroom.)

It was also nice again to spend some time with other people sharing our experiences and what we are going through. It was really tough going through the choosing part with other families here, but it is nice to have them here at this point.

Speaking of the four beers, is there anyone out there with a little capital that wants to start a business as a beer distributor? One of the local beers is called Efes and it is excellent. I’ve been thinking of becoming the U.S. distributor of Efes. It is lighter beer, like a U.S domestic, but with a better flavor. I think we have a gold mine here.

So, overall, it was a good day, maybe the best we’ve had yet. A lot of the emotional side is subsiding and we are settling into the routine. I’m sure we are going to have some tough days, especially since we are going to be here so long, but after today, it just felt good.

Keep the messages flowing. They really help. We miss you all and can’t wait for you to meet Jack and Gracie.

TIP-Watching the Videos

Some people have had problems running the videos. One tip you can try --- Right click on the video link and choose Save Target As... Save the video clip somewhere on your computer hard drive. Then open it using Windows Media Player. These are Windows media files, which makes them more compressed, but you might need to use the Windows Media Player to watch them. See if that works.

10/7/04-Pictures, Video & Stuff

Today went well, except for Grace being sick. We spent some time in the AM & PM with Jack. He really is a sweet little kid. If you haven't yet, check out the video of him with his mother. I'm sure it will bring a tear to your eye.

Bill got to see Grace before we left. She seemed more alert. She probably slept all day. (Lisa, the pediatrian who is here adopting, brought some children's Tylanol for the orphanage. Hopefully, they gave her some of that.) She still had a temp at the end of the day, but looked better. We hope we can be with her tomorrow.

Check out today's pictures.

Also, check out the GI Jack on the move video.

10/7/04-More Video - Jack

Jack the Kisser - Check out Jack and his Mom. I think we have a real Momma's boy here.

10/7/04-The first family videos-LINK FIXED

NOTE: THE LINKS ON THESE WERE BROKEN. THEY ARE NOW FIXED.
Here are some first time videos of the kids. Forgive Dad for his amateur video skills. He's still learning.

Grace on the Swing - Grace seems to be pulling herself on the swing.

Jack in the Pit of Balls - Not sure how interested Jack was in the balls yet. This was one of our first days, so you hear dad talking to "Daniel".

10/7/04-The Routine Begins...

Now we've entered into the time of the daily routine. Each day we go to the orphanage in the morning and the afternoon to visit our kids. We go to their rooms and pick them up and bring them into a large playroom where all the other parents come with their kids. We are still learning their personalities and how they interact with us and others.

Yesterday, Grace was a little out of it. She just wanted to be held. Some times she looked like she wanted to get down and then she would turn right around and reach to be picked up. In the afternoon, she wanted to be held and walked around. Still learning about her, it was hard to tell what was wrong. She is probably teething and seems to have a cold, as do all the kids there. She doesn't cry a lot, but she gets fussy and whines. She seemed a little out of it. This morning, she was definitely sick and had a fever. They kept her in her room and put her back to bed. Bill checked on her before we left and she was still sleeping. They said her temp had gone down, she still had a fever.

They told us Grace's mother used "minor drugs", whatever that really means. Our doctor back home says she may be a high risk for Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. This was hard to hear and has been hard to deal with. You begin to stress every thing she can't do (speak, sit up, focus on one thing or person, etc.) and worry about whether that is a sign of something. We know children that are born with this can have a really hard time in life and can have some serious issues to deal with. We are anxious to take her out of the orphanage so we can get her on a good diet and give her the attention she needs. There are a lot of things she can do -- she crawls on all fours, grasps things and moves them back and forth. She pulled herself on the swing the other day.

We are bound to this little girl (and it appears many people are in the States from all the wonderful notes we've received). It just can be a day-to-day stress because we only get a little time with her and would rather have her back home seeing our pedestrian and getting more information on what we need to do for this little one.

Jackson continues to come out of his shell. He is basically a very laid back kid. He is at that stage where he wants to put everything -- I mean EVERYTHING -- in his mouth. We're not big fans of that as it is not the most sanitary environment. We brought some toys in with us and let him do what he wants with those. He is also teething, so we brought in a teething ring we had put in the freezer. He loved it.

You can tell he really needs some good nutrition. His skin is very thin -- you can see his veins through his skin, especially around his eyes. He is low weight, but not tiny like Grace. He has that kind of malnutrition belly you see. Basically, all they get there is starches and sugar. (They put sugar in everything.) They also feed the kids tea as a drink, which we think also has a lot of sugar in it. They get about a half a cup of milk a day, and then they get some kind of yogurt drink instead of formula. All in all, the daily calories seem to be low. We brought a lot of formula from home and we are going to try to move him to that as soon as we can get him. We can't do much now, because he is still under their care and they have their routine. But we think he will really respond to getting out of the orphanage.

He is also behind developmentally, but it is more of the normal things you see in orphanage children. He is between crawl and a creep, doing a flat Australian crawl to get around. (Bill calls him G.I. Jack.)

We do want to say that you can tell that the people at the orphanage really do love and care for these children. The routines and diets they have are what they can afford to provide. Whenever we bring the kids back to their room, you can see how their caregivers love them and do everything they can to provide for them. There are just too many kids and too little resources. For someone from the outside, this can be depressing and adds to the stress of the whole process.

We appreciate all the notes and comments from everyone. We both feel very touched and supported by all of your love. This has not been easy, but we know we have all your support and will continue to have it as the journey continues.

Bill & Mary Jo

10/6/04-More Pictures -- Day 3

View pictures from the morning of day 3.

10/6/04-Pictures

Click to see some pictures.

10/5/04-And our lives are changed forever...

Friends, family and fans -- the decision has been made. After much soul searching, talking and questions to multiple doctors, we've made our choices. From this point on, our lives will never be the same.

This has been a trying experience, more so than we ever imagined. Our first day at the orphanage was depressing as we walked from room to room looking at children from 6 months to 4 years. You could see the many issues, whether physical, emotional or developmental that these children have to go through. It tears at your heart. It started us on an emotional journey.

On the first day, we basically picked the children we ended up with, but we've done a lot of soul searching to make the final commitment. We understand there will be a lot these children needs from us and we had to make sure we were prepared to live up to the task -- especially if we picked two children. We've taken a couple days visiting the children and have decided we are ready to commit.

As planned, we have picked two children, one boy and one girl. Being 19 days apart, they are basically going to be twins, very different twins as you can see from their pictures. Let us tell you a little bit about our children.

Tania, soon to be Grace Elizabeth is the older at 10 months. She was born on December 1, 2003. She is very tiny at 12 lbs, 25.4 inches. We do have some concerns about her development as she came from an at-risk environment, but we know we can help and she should thrive once we have her out of the orphanage. She is very alert, watching everyone and everything and has large, beautiful brown eyes that stole Bill's heart from the start. She doesn't say much and doesn't sit very sturdy, but she crawls on all fours. She also sat on a swing in the playroom and pulled on the ropes to swing herself all on her own. (Bill thought this was pretty good, but he's prejudiced.)

Daniel, soon to be Jackson William is 9 months old, born on December 19, 2003. (He is soon to learn the great frustration of having a Christmas birthday, right Mary Ann.) He is a classic orphanage baby, very lethargic when we first met him, but we've already seen him brighten up since we've started to spend time with him. He is just starting to creep and seems to be getting more and more active each day. He and Grace have already had their first sibling fight over a toy. Luckily, no bloodshed. He is very ticklish and has a beautiful smile. He is a little more auditory than Grace, but still behind. We just going to keep talking to the both of them until they answer back.

Tomorrow, we will go back to the orphanage and let them know we've made our choice, but we wanted to let all of you know first. We know many of you have been waiting on pins and needles for news. We appreciate all your thoughts and prayers.

P.S. Below are some pictures. We will post more tomorrow.

Picture-Tania (Grace Elizabeth) on the Swing 

Picture-Daniel (Jackson William) 

Picture-Tania (Grace Elizabeth)

Tania (Grace Elizabeth)

Picture-Daniel (Jackson William)

Daniel (Jackson William)

10/4/04-The roller coaster begins...

Well, we've been through our first day. It was everything we feared. There were a lot of kids who have serious problems and a number of others that don't get enough attention. The experience was just as the people described to us the night before. They rushed us through a series of rooms and showed us kids that were eligible for adoptions. We quickly took down names, ages and took pictures. We got a little superficial background, but not much.

After we went through, we looked through our list and looked at all the pictures. From this list, we narrowed down our choices and spent time with the children. We are considering some of the kids we've looked at. We were able to meet with their doctors and get some medical background. We took this information and the pictures we took and sent them all to a pediatrician we've been talking to in Pittsburgh. She did an evaluation and discussed it with us. The picture she described wasn't perfect and we still have a lot to think about. We haven't made any final decisions and will let everyone know when we have. We knew this would be hard, but couldn't realized how hard it would be until we went through it. For now, keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

10/2/04-The long night ahead...

From Bill's Perspective:

It's night-time and MJ's asleep. Anyone who knows me would have to know I would have a hard time sleeping on this night. I mean, if all the little stresses in life and work have kept me awake in the past, why shouldn't the biggest day of my life. Tomorrow we go to the orphanage for the first time. Tomorrow begins the part I've dreaded the most about this process -- the choosing. As most of you are aware, one of the differences with Kazakhstan is that you come here and choose the child or children you are to adopt. There are some aspects of this that are appealing. Since we don’t get to go through the stages of pregnancy and birth, this will enable us to see if we truly connect with our children. The problem is that we have to do this in a room (or rooms) full of children.

We went to dinner with 3 other couples tonight. Two came over on our flight and go with us tomorrow. The other couple came on Tuesday and today made their choice. They were very relieved. They said the first half day was very chaotic and they went through all the rooms, sat with the children, took pictures and notes. After that, they were able to narrow it down to five children that they spent more time with. Then I think they were able to narrow it down to one. Tomorrow they get to go to the orphanage to visit their son. Listening to them helps me know that it does work out, but it doesn't make feel any easier about tomorrow. I tend to connect with children. I'm a big baby flirt. How will I get past that and be able to choose among all of them? I guess that is the big question. I will have to wait and see how it goes.

With all this "dread", let me also say that I am charged with a great sense of excitement. Tomorrow I go to meet my children. I may not know exactly who they are at the start, but in the end, I will know. This is day I've longed for. A few years ago, I gave up on this ever happening. Then MJ walked into my life and doors started to open. I'm ready to walk through this one.

Though we were really hoping to go to the orphanage today and get things started, it may have been good that we waited. Today was an acclimation day. I spent a part of it sleeping. At different parts of the day, I just found myself falling asleep, still trying to recover from the long trip. I made my first trip to a Kazakstani Supermarket. I think things have changed quickly over the years. We've read all the websites and the lists people made about what you can get and not. Let me say, they pretty much have everything we have at home. Of course, most of it is in a language I don't believe I will ever comprehend, but they do have it. I bought some essentials -- water, bread, juice and some non-essentials -- beer, and brought it back to our little home in the hotel.

As I said, we had dinner with some other couples here on our floor. (I believe the fourth floor is in all the tourist brochures as "Adoption Central".) We went to a nice place called the Johnny Walker Pub. I know I will probably used the word "surreal" many times in this adventure, but nothing beats being served Fish and Chips in Karaganda, Kazakhstan by a waiter in full Scottish kilt who doesn't speak a word of English. The food was decent. MJ got a pizza. (So much for our fears of never eating pizza again. We've now had it two days in a row.) I think it helped to relieve some of our stress to spend the night with three other couples who are going through some of the same things. After dinner, we came back to the room for another video -- tonight's selection was Uptown Girls -- then off to bed. I read for a while and thought I would fall asleep. As I said at the start, that was pretty ambitious of me. I think I sit here, play a little Spider, and try to sleep in a little bit. Not having an internet connection bars me from my usually late night haunt of browsing the web.

10/2/04-Early reflection of a "Control Freak"

From Mary Jo's perspective:
Yes the flight in was a challenger for me…as has been almost everything so far for this "pampered girl". My orderly little world has been "rocked".

We had almost no problem getting through Passport Control and Customers…that was a breeze. When we got through, Bolat and his father, the facilitators for the Almaty leg of the trip, were waiting for us and two other couples. We loaded up our luggage and were off. As it turns out, the Hotel here was booked up, so they rented us an apartment. We pulled into the place well after midnight and I was afraid when we entered the building and took the elevator upstairs..definitely not the Four Seasons. When we went into the apartment, I was relieved to find that the inside did not mirror the outside. It was clean and fully functional. We immediately took a shower and then went to sleep. We were exhausted.

The next morning we watched a DVD and then dressed to hit the town to find some water. We were dying of thirst and the water from the faucet is not drinkable. It turns out that we were staying on the main drag in Almaty…so everything was pretty accessible. However, since nobody speaks any English, it was frustrating to try and find what we needed. "Who needs that Russian dictionary we left back in the apartment?" We finally made our way to an exchange place and changed some money and then found a place where we could get some drinks. That was enough adventure for me for the day. We went back to our apartment. I feel like such a fish out of water. For those of you who know me well, I like having some degree of control and it's just not possible in this environment. However, Bill and I did decide that we need to start thinking a little bit ahead because autopilot just doesn't work in a place that is so unfamiliar. I am sure it will be more comfortable after a few more days.

Bolat called and said that he would pick us and the other two couples up and we would go for lunch. He took us to a Pizza place. I am pretty sure that will be our last Pizza for a few weeks. We spent a long time at lunch talking. After that Bill and I walked back to the apartment. We had about an hour until we had to go to the airport…so we took a short nap.
Bolat's father and a driver showed up to get us at 5 o'clock and we took the death ride to the airport. I think we were safe but the pedestrians took their lives in their hands. Also, it would appear that the lines on the road are just guidelines for driving. Our driver got us there in record time. We were at the airport a solid 25 minutes before the others. We were beginning to think that either we were in the wrong place or that they weren't going to make it but they finally showed up at the airport. We were all checked in and ready to go.

We were hoping that our plane was going to be one of the big ones just outside the window…but no such luck. We got on a bus and they took us out to an airplane on the tarmac. They loaded us on a plane that had to be thirty or forty years old. What can you expect for a $120 flight. The flight was pretty uneventful. However you knew it was an old plane when it hit the ground in Karaganda. I was asleep and I woke up and yelled "Oh my God". I asked Bill if it was that I was sleeping or if it really hit that hard and he said…it really hit down hard. When we got to the gate, our translator Lena was there. She took our baggage tickets and helped us get our bags from the plane side. We were missing two bags…one of ours and one belonging to another couple also traveling with us...and the folks unloading the plane said there were no more. Lena went with them back to the plane and got them for us. You really do need to have the local support to navigate your way around the airports, officials, etc. It is very obvious that they have some pull or at least they know how to handle the people that we need to deal with.
Lena got us settled in the Hotel. We unpacked our things as we will be here in the hotel for a couple of weeks. It certainly doesn't have all of amenities of home but the hotel is clean and functional.

I am feeling a bit more relaxed. I am a little emotional about all that is going on and the overall experience of adopting. Each time I go without something that I consider to be a normal expectation or something doesn't go the way that it should, I realize how much we have to offer and know we have made the right choice to come here and adopt. All I can say is "God bless Bill for sticking it out for the entire 7 weeks"…cause this "gal" couldn't hack it.