10/7/04-The Routine Begins...

Now we've entered into the time of the daily routine. Each day we go to the orphanage in the morning and the afternoon to visit our kids. We go to their rooms and pick them up and bring them into a large playroom where all the other parents come with their kids. We are still learning their personalities and how they interact with us and others.

Yesterday, Grace was a little out of it. She just wanted to be held. Some times she looked like she wanted to get down and then she would turn right around and reach to be picked up. In the afternoon, she wanted to be held and walked around. Still learning about her, it was hard to tell what was wrong. She is probably teething and seems to have a cold, as do all the kids there. She doesn't cry a lot, but she gets fussy and whines. She seemed a little out of it. This morning, she was definitely sick and had a fever. They kept her in her room and put her back to bed. Bill checked on her before we left and she was still sleeping. They said her temp had gone down, she still had a fever.

They told us Grace's mother used "minor drugs", whatever that really means. Our doctor back home says she may be a high risk for Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. This was hard to hear and has been hard to deal with. You begin to stress every thing she can't do (speak, sit up, focus on one thing or person, etc.) and worry about whether that is a sign of something. We know children that are born with this can have a really hard time in life and can have some serious issues to deal with. We are anxious to take her out of the orphanage so we can get her on a good diet and give her the attention she needs. There are a lot of things she can do -- she crawls on all fours, grasps things and moves them back and forth. She pulled herself on the swing the other day.

We are bound to this little girl (and it appears many people are in the States from all the wonderful notes we've received). It just can be a day-to-day stress because we only get a little time with her and would rather have her back home seeing our pedestrian and getting more information on what we need to do for this little one.

Jackson continues to come out of his shell. He is basically a very laid back kid. He is at that stage where he wants to put everything -- I mean EVERYTHING -- in his mouth. We're not big fans of that as it is not the most sanitary environment. We brought some toys in with us and let him do what he wants with those. He is also teething, so we brought in a teething ring we had put in the freezer. He loved it.

You can tell he really needs some good nutrition. His skin is very thin -- you can see his veins through his skin, especially around his eyes. He is low weight, but not tiny like Grace. He has that kind of malnutrition belly you see. Basically, all they get there is starches and sugar. (They put sugar in everything.) They also feed the kids tea as a drink, which we think also has a lot of sugar in it. They get about a half a cup of milk a day, and then they get some kind of yogurt drink instead of formula. All in all, the daily calories seem to be low. We brought a lot of formula from home and we are going to try to move him to that as soon as we can get him. We can't do much now, because he is still under their care and they have their routine. But we think he will really respond to getting out of the orphanage.

He is also behind developmentally, but it is more of the normal things you see in orphanage children. He is between crawl and a creep, doing a flat Australian crawl to get around. (Bill calls him G.I. Jack.)

We do want to say that you can tell that the people at the orphanage really do love and care for these children. The routines and diets they have are what they can afford to provide. Whenever we bring the kids back to their room, you can see how their caregivers love them and do everything they can to provide for them. There are just too many kids and too little resources. For someone from the outside, this can be depressing and adds to the stress of the whole process.

We appreciate all the notes and comments from everyone. We both feel very touched and supported by all of your love. This has not been easy, but we know we have all your support and will continue to have it as the journey continues.

Bill & Mary Jo