10/23/04-I'll never do that...
“I’ll never do that with my children.” I’m sure there are many of us out there who have said that. We’ve watch a parent stick in a video for their child and say, “I won’t let my kids watch TV.” Or we say, “I’ll never use bribery with my children.” Then we stand with a screaming baby crying, “I’ll pay for four years to any college you want and law school if you just stop crying.” Well, your good friends in Kazakhstan have found themselves reversing on all angles. We’ve given cookies; we’ve bought more toys; we’ve slept with them in our beds to get them to sleep; and yes, we’ve even popped in a video. (The Lion King – it worked for five minutes.) Sometimes, we’re going to have to accept that a fussy child is a fussy child.
Day three was another typical day. We’re still trying to figure out what makes these kids tick. I’ve checked with the orphanage and apparently there was not owner’s manual that came with them. The biggest thing we’re realizing is that, now that they have regular attention, they are becoming very needy kids. Where in the orphanage they had to fend for themselves, now they have these people who are with them all the time. Jack has gone from GI Jack roaming around the room to Momma’s Jack crying to be held. Grace is a little more independent, but when she wants to be held, she wants to be held. The biggest thing we’re realizing (other than, again, this is pretty exhausting work) is that we have to figure out a good schedule that works for them so they eat when they need it, sleep when they need it and play when they have the energy. We haven’t done a very good job at this, but, as I said, we weren’t given the owner’s manual.
MJ and I are doing fine. We are finding that we spend a little time at the end of each day when the little dumplings are asleep debriefing on what happened during the day, why we are here and what we can do different. During the day, most of our conversations center around -- “I don’t know why he is crying.” Or “I don’t know what she wants.” We finish the day tired, but ready to tackle the next day. (If we can just get a little sleep at night, it would help.) It also helps to share a little with you, our adoring public. Thank you for listening.
posted by Bill & Mary Jo at 8:10 PM
4 Comments:
Welcome to parenthood! That movie, by the way, will take on a whole new light now for you.
The Army is not "the toughest job you'll ever love"~ parenthood is. You have just jumped in, with both feet, into a stage that most parents are "eased" into. The fact that you make it to the end of the day still speaking to each other is fantastic!
The kiddos are probably making up for lost time on the "being held" issue. I imagine when they figure out you really are around for them FOR GOOD, they will calm down. The girls still go through "clingy" phases. It's generally right at the moment I need to BE ALONE, but that is the great irony of life!
Also, I don't know if you know this, but sometimes babies just cry. Really. They can't verbalize, so they just need to "vent." I found it easiest to just cry right along with them! LOL
The girls have just realized that Grandma is leaving them. Louisa wanted to go with her to you. I think it was a mixture of desperately wanting to see your kiddos and realizing that HER gma is leaving. (She's very possessive!) I am sure Gpa will more than make up for the absence, but Louisa may take some convincing.
By the way, Lawrence and I are getting the entire day together ALONE today...no kids! Whoo hooo!!! Kelly took them away so we could have the day. When you get back, I will be honored to do the same for you anytime! I am sure the girls would love to keep the babies for a day! So, there's something else to look forward to!
We love you so much. Hang in there. Drink big glasses of wine and cherish these insane moments, because they really will pass away quickly.
Katho, Larry, Sophia, Amelia and Louisa (who did not successfully stow away in gma jan's luggage...no room!)
Welcome to parenthood! Don't worry-our kids are 5 and 7 and we STILL have no idea what we're doing. They are still alive and well-so something must be working. I'm sure that you are wonderful parents(tired..but wondersful still). And how luck Jack and Grace are to have you to share thier chaotic up and down days with! It will get better(when they're 21). Take care-we love you!
Mar
Hi Guys,
Just thinking today that Mom's on her way over to be with you and the babies. How cool is that? The one person in the whole world who can make you feel better about anything -- but especially about babies -- is MOM!
I remember Colleen once saying that she would have another baby just to have Mom come and stay for a week. And lucky you, Bill. You get her for almost a month! Seriously, though, Mom is somehow able to give guidance and direction without making you feel like a COMPLETE idiot!
So, keep on keeping on. Life as a parent is anything but predictable. It's worth it, though. We are watching the show faithfully, and are hoping our thoughts and prayers are somehow sending you stregnth!
Love, Dottie and All
Mary Jo and Bill,
You are doing great, having learned early my motto for parenthood. You'd think after 6 we would have gotten something figured out :-) Instead, I just changed my motto to "whatever works".
Those things we said we'd never do? Well, we do them and sometimes they work. What works for Jack won't work for Grace, so again, "whatever works". Sometimes you just plain get tired.
I'll pray for a good night's sleep for everyone. I'm praying for safe travel for GMA. She will be the best medicine we could send.
Sending love and good wishes,
Eileen
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